postin' from the library, lookin' like a fool.. i don't really care, cuz my mom says i'm cool

yay making up songs!

and now, some procrastination. brought to you by the letter q.

A - Age?: (à la sound of music...) i am 19 going on 8...

B - Band listening to right now: um.... right now? people's keys clacking away in the libary.

C - Career in future: something to do with children, art, animals and not doing much but getting paid a lot for it.

D - Dad's name: james robert john(?)

E - Easiest person to talk to: other than myself.. i'd say licia and dad.

F - Favourite song at the moment: um... i dunno. i really like every song on licia's tudhope and todd and no cd's till brooklyn cds.

G- Gummy Bears or Gummy Worms: neither, they both have gelatin in them... which is a shame, really.

H - Hometown: winters... oh, you mean where am i from... washburn island, cadmus before that, pickering before that, willowdale before that. i'm a nomad.

I - Instruments you play: nadda. i have a drumkit. but only learnt one song. and i also played the recorder. and of course, the spoons. and the kazoo.

J - Job title: "Supreme Overlord of Andromeda Pi Beta Alpha Dishwasher. Inhabited by purple monkeys." ahahaha! todd, you're awesome. me? just call me slacker.

K - Kids: hopefully i'll get that job at baby gab or the pet store. that would be so supremely cool.

L - Longest car ride ever: umm... buffalo, i think? though that wasn't actually that long. so i don't know. paris... was also not that long. oh, bus ride to ottawa in grade 6.

M - Mom's name: jenny ann

N - Number of siblings: two, plus all the winters kids who consider me their little sister.

O - Oldest friend?: that would be my sister.

P - Phobia[s]: um, slight aracno- and i'm also afraid of people and growing up...

Q - Quote you like: um... i can't think of any off-hand... "what winters has taken from me: my virginity, my sanity, my inhibitions. what winters has given me: my life." from the 3rd floor girl's bathroom, last stall. yay.

R - Reason to smile: what doesn't make me smile would be a much easier list to produce: sad friends... um.. jealousy... and i can't really think of anything else. haha.

S - Song you sang last: uh... oh, i was humming along to avril this morning.

T - Time you wake : if i don't have my alarm set.. 1 ish.. if i do have my alarm set.. 1ish.. i gotta stop sleeping through that thing....

U - Unknown fact about me: a bunch of my friends in grade 4 said they had imaginary friends, so i made one up to fit in. i think his name was bob.

V - Vegetable you hate: brussel sprouts! and mashed squash makes me gag.

W - Worst habit: concentrating too much on little things that mean nothing, and thereby getting jealous too easily and going through a small crisis where i think i'm unloved.

X - X-rays you've had: just the teeth, i think.

Y - Yummy food: anything, right now, would be yummy. especially if it were free. this wondering how i'm going to eat for the next while is starting to piss me off...

Z - Zodiac sign: gemini. i'm split right up the middle into a little kid and the real me... but the little kid usually wins. *giggle*

yay!

i think i should go.. cuz i have laundry in the washing machine... *le sigh*

love, hugs and other such things

~jess
i wrote this at 2:43 PM

oh for just one time...

FIRSTS.
First best friend: ewan. my first boyfriend, too, from our escape from the womb to the age of 4. we kissed through the screen door and shared giant lollipops with each other.
First car: the subway!
First screen name: i dunno, jessimocha?
First self purchased album: um... i have no idea... foo fighters with my brother, maybe?
First funeral: hasn't happened yet.
First pet: teddy, my hamster. unless i got juliet-julien the turtle first. i remember getting julie, on my fourth birthday. and if i had teddy first, that means that i can remember being 2-3 years old.
First enemy: prolly some snobby girl in grade 1. ... unless you count sibling rivalry as being enemetic. (i just made up a word! i am so totally awesome!) but if not, i don't think i've ever really had an enemy, other than myself, who i get along with just fine most times.... but ya, i'm gonna go with by dad and uncle and say myself on this one.

LASTS.
Last car Ride: driving back here with licia from yorkdale where we applied from jobs. that's old cheddar at work there (mature cheese, get it?!)
Last kiss: um, on the cheeks/forehead region from either dad, licia or leighann.... oh wait, i gave aidan an eskimo kiss last nite. never had one of those "on-the-lips" french thingies...
Last good cry: CRYFEST 2004 - post-formal sob-fest. yay!
Last library book checked out: an mla handbook, methinks. and that was a-long-while ago.
Last movie seen: hedwig and the angry inch... unless you count the star trek video of licia when she was all of 5 years old.. .. cutest thing i've ever seen.
Last beverage drank: i had a bit of licia's diet pepsi... i like how all my answers involve licia in some way.....
Last food consumed: pasghetti. and i'm gonna go up and make some more.. in licia's room *giggle*
Last phone call: whoa... that was a loooong time ago. not having a phone does that... um, oh, wait, i talked to bear monday on the phone. hahaha.
Last time showered: this morning, yo.
Last shoes worn: my ripped up velcro sneakers from walmart.. the black ones.
Last cd played: um.... dancing is forbidden, and the rest of the jesalijams, last nite while i was a-porter'n
Last item bought: a bagel this morning, and i put a buck on my copy card forto make me and licia copies of our resumes.
Last annoyance: um... being bored?
Last disappointment: i can't remember...
Last time scolded: sometime of recent past by dad, i'm sure.
Last shirt worn: i am currently in a grey dress shirt, cuz i wanted to look responsible for the job applying-for.
Last website visited: my unkie's bloggie.
Last word you said: it was gonna be "anyway" what i just said to erin, but then i said "erasing" while erasing the words here.
Last song you sang: walk like an egyptian, i just whisperedy sang it.
What is in your cd player?: i would have to have one of those to have a cd in it.
What color socks are you wearing?: one black, one white.
What Color of underwear are you wearing?: red.. i just checked.
What's under your bed?: a lotta crap.
What time did you wake up today?: 10ish.

yay! now, i'm gonna stop making erin sit in the hall waiting for me.

love, hugs and boredome!

~jess.... mozerella (boring cheese)

i wrote this at 8:53 PM

man, pub nites are boring when there's no school and your friends have other friends

ahaha. okay, so i don't know if it'll actually be boring, as it's only 8.30. but i am predicting a nite spent alone... maybe i'll go to the ab.. but it'll all be old guard scary types who i don't know.

*shrugs* whatevah. as long as everyone else is having fun, i'm happy.

i know you said i could come along, but like i was gonna intrude on that!

that's kinda creepy, eh? when people talk to people through their blog. *giggle*

awwight. time to go make more spaghetti... hey licia, um, when you go to jamaica can i have access to your room somehow? like give me your key, or just leave the door open... or something.. cuz i have food in there in your fridge that i can't put anywhere else... is this asking too much? okay, i think it is... but i'll leave it here anways, cuz i'm too lazy to ewase. and i don't need that food anyways, so okay, nevermind.. i guess.. and stuff. *le sigh* next week's gonna be boring.

love, hugs and a bored lil girl

~jess
i wrote this at 8:27 PM

i'm cheating on you.

awwight. formal post time.

i'm just gonna give a moment-by-moment account of what i can remember from the whole day. yay.

morningtime... 10ish? woke up, went down to licia's. we then went to black's, to payless for me shoes, to walmart for makeup, film and batteries and to waste time for payless to be open, to payless again and then to black's for to get pictures and then to rachel blair's, where i was now an hour and a half late (hahaha) and all the girlies were getting all prettied up.

rachel's was fun. she did an amazing job of getting us all pretty while making herself pretty as well. my stomach hurts. we made brownies and ate them, and me and andy snuck another one and split it and fun was had by all. and licia never showed up. cuz she didn't get her hair done, so that was no fun.

and then we took taxis over to winters, i ran up to my room to drop off stuff and then to licia's to get her and her tierra. she was not there. so i stood around not knowing what to do for about 20 minutes. then i figured she was at bexy's, so i ran back upstairs (this is all in my pretty princess dress, so i was almost killing myself tripping over it all) found licia who was now getting her hair dealies put in (note: dealies=curler things) and then i asked if she could put the tierra on me, she said yes so i ran to my room to get bobby pins and she put it on me and et cetera.

the shoes because licia couldn't get her hair done until very late, we were a little late and rushed running out the door. and halfway down the hallway, her shoes - her 150$ shoes - broke. we were damn near freaking out (well, i kinda was) and trying to fix the chain while both of us are shaking and sweaty and it's not working. then finally (triumphy trumpet) i get it. yay me.

the lobby we stood around awhile and then got on the bus.

the bus we took the bus to get to the hall. licia's other shoe broke so i spent the bus ride fixing that one too. yay expensive shoes! *rolls eyes*

table we sat at a table. it was, in this order, around a round table, leighann, licia, me, dad, bear, brendan, jody, lindsay, jenn, emerys. yay that. we stood in the booze line, they got boozed up, i got shirley temples, we ate dinner and took pictures and leighann was very quickly off her ass drunk.

heya after sitting awhile at the table, not wanting to dance, and entertaining the idea of getting drunk but not really wanting to, but wanting to anyway, heya came on and licia ran over and pulled me up and we went and were dancing and whatnot. props to licia for getting me on the dance floor cuz otherwise i woulda sat there the whole time. i love you! lol

um... onto lieghann, i guess. at some point, leighann came to the table where i was taking a break from dancing. she was right fucked. so me and licia dragged her to the bathroom to make her puke and ended up sitting on the floor with her for about 45 minutes of drunken fun. and by fun i of course mean crying and trying to puke. .... yay! lol. eventually, she was done and i took her back to the table.

more dancing happened.

and more dancing also happened. it was a good time. i danced a lot, fasty and slow. i can't remember what the crap song i danced with dad to at the end of the nite, but it was very sweet and we both sang and i wish i could remember. i also danced with greg, kenny, bear, kenny again, andy, wayland and jason together at the very end, and girls. fun fun.

alicia alright, at some point right before dessert, alicia was not drunk. we were talking and she told me she was quite sober. 5 minutes later and she too was right fucked. yay. so at the end of the nite, i was trying to get her to come with me to go to the bus. she wanted to sit. okay, cool. then she wanted to lay down... okay. then she fell on her ass on the floor and laid there a while. silly girl. eventually i pulled her up and then halfway across the floor, her shoe breaks again and we fall on our asses. it was quite fun. all this while i was calming bear down every 5 minutes so he wouldn't cry. and this is after i reassured dad that his life was going to be fine after he left, and after i found him his camera and while making sure everyone from our table had all their stuff. then we were in the lobby, alicia lying down, me trying to fix her shoe and keep her tits in her dress. lol. good times.

bus ride was fun. everyone was singing and still hyper. yay that. and licia's drunken yelling about who stole her beer was also fun. yay busses. oh, and again, making bear stop crying.

at winters okay, so i'm sitting in the hallway with alicia, trying to make her go to bed, but she really didn't want to and started crying. then someone runs by saying they were getting high, and alicia goes scampering down the hall to join them. and then i get all upset, i dunno why really, just frustrated i guess at not being able to take care of her properly. then andy comes over and tells me to stop crying, tells me i'm a princess and to think about me, then he leaves, then erin and rach come up and do the same thing i kept doing for bear to make him stop crying. so whatever. i go on the hall computers and am about to check my email when i see andy talking to alicia down the hall. then alicia comes over to me, and is yelling at me for not telling her why i'm upset. it was scary. then i think she scampered into the office.

CRYFEST 2004 so i walk into the office and find alicia on bear's lap, with leighann beside them, and alicia's bawling her eyes out. i have no idea what to do really, so i stood there all awkward for a few minutes before i went over and hugged her too. and now, bear's drunk, and leighann's real drunk, so they're crying too. and then i start crying cuz the sound of licia's sobs stabs me in the middle of my heart. but i'm trying to hide my tears. this goes on for about 2 hours - all of us sitting there crying. dad's passed out for the whole thing on the couch beside us lol. at some point, bexy came in and starting crying too. then zisis came in and took alicia away, and the rest of us continued to talk. they kept crying, i almost passed out. then zisis and alicia come back, alicia passes out on the chair and zisis and bex and a now awake dad start rolling joints. i manage to somehow grab alicia and get her upstairs (i dont' really remember that, tho) and then we sit there and watch tv for a while until dad comes to the door. we sit there for 2 music videos (your roses really smell like poo poo poo) and then me and dad go upstairs.

stoned father he would not shut up. lol. we stayed up until 7 am, he's high off his ass. it was hilarious. and fun. and i really dont' remember any of what he said, cuz i was exhausted, but it was awesome. and i didn't think i'd sleep till 3 in the afternoon, but i sure did.

aftermath the next day everyone was in recovery mode. so we just lazed around until we went to dad's. then deanna came by and everyone got high (everyone = licia, james, leighann, dee and me... though i didn't get high... well, not on purpose. i either got a contact high or i was just HBA, who knows. but i was sure hyper) and then we watched sopranos and left, and i passed out in licia's room watching a thing about chippendales dancers.

and there you have it, folks. formal 2004. it was awesome. it was so much fun. i wanna go back. yay!

love, hugs and insanely long posties.

~brie (fancy cheese)
i wrote this at 2:09 PM

survey says...!

1: Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, find line 4. Write down what it says:
"Soby, in his book on de Chirico, writes in explanation of" dot dot dot. from my course kit for art and society... they are talking about.... art during WWI.

2: Stretch your left arm out as far as you can. What do you touch first?
air.. unless someone walks into my arm.

3: What is the last thing you watched on TV?
i woke up at 4 in the am to AC/DC on alicia's tv. at least, i think it was them. it may have been a cover band or something. i was really sleepy and confused.

4: WITHOUT LOOKING, guess what the time is:
7:13.

5: Now look at the clock, what is the actual time?
hhahahahahaha!!! 8:29

6: With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?
people typing, talking, a vent, papers flipping.

7: When did you last step outside? what were you doing?
i last stepped outside when i stepped out of curtis lecture halls. i was on the way to the computer lab. and i said thank you to the dude in front of me with a mouth full of muffin. then i laughed at myself. cuz i sounded like this: "fmank vfoo". i don't know if he heard any of it. *giggle*

8: Before you came to this website, what did you look at?
jen's livejournal. and an article on gordon parks, i think.

9: What are you wearing?
black skirt, teen girl squad t-shirt, my coat and mismatched socks.

10: Did you dream last night? What about?
ya i did. it was weird but i can't remember it now....

11: When did you last laugh?
when i was talking to todd all of 20 minutes ago.

12: What is on the walls of the room you are in?
windows to other rooms, railing to stairs, fire hose, sockets and posters.

13: Seen anything weird lately?
no... i don't think so... hmmm.. that donut thing was messed up, but i've seen it before.. oh! last nite i fell asleep to the visions of chippendales dancers on the telee.

14: What do you think of this quiz?
this question is dumb and therefore i now hate this quiz.





not really! i love you quiz!

15: What is the last film you saw?
dawn of the dead. it was pretty neato. i've been watching so many damn movies lately.

16: If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy first?
i'd just pay rent. and then fill the apartment with money so that we had to swim through it to get anywhere.

17: Tell me something about you that I don't know:
i'm wearing my favouritest new underwears right now.

18: If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?
make sure that every new baby came with a new apple tree. or tree of another fruit.

19: Do you like to dance?
yes! formal was so much fun! ... only when other people are drunk, tho.

20: George Bush: is he a power-crazy nutcase or some one who is finally doing something that has needed to be done for years?
hahaha.. the first.

21: Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?
her name. which i won't know until i meet her.

21: Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him?
see above but replace her with him.

22: Would you ever consider living abroad?
fo sheezy my weezy neezy.


yay!
i wrote this at 8:37 PM

told you i'd procrastinate....

Disorder	Rating
Paranoid:	Low
Schizoid:	Low
Schizotypal:	Very High
Antisocial:	Low
Borderline:	Low
Histrionic:	High
Narcissistic:	Low
Avoidant:	Moderate
Dependent:	High
Obsessive-Compulsive:	Moderate
-- Personality Disorder Test - Take It! --

i wrote this at 4:51 PM

oh my god, formal was awesome!

even with all the crying, all the drunken craziness and all the other crying (hmm...) it was still an amzing time. i wish i could still be there.

i'm sure i'll tell you about it some day. but not now. i really should start writing this essay. but my mind is in that place where i'm considering not doing it, cuz school is done now. right? no! not right! school is still happening and i have to get to the program. right jen? *raises eyebrows* "exactly." yay!

and now to go procrastinate with other things.

oh, go here to see fun pictures. this pictures do not do me justice, i must say. i looked much prettier in real life.. i do not like my body in these pictures.

that is all

love, hugs and computer labs,
~jessica
i wrote this at 4:12 PM