I'M SUCH A *(@#$*&%&$ *i@$%*@$&%#@$% IDIOT!!!!!

for christ sakes, is it even possible to be this stupid?! okay, now sleeping through class is one thing, but sleeping through an interview that you schedualed the day before for a job that is in high demand??!?!!!!!! for fuck's sakes i wanna shoot myself in the face right now

*sigh*

i can't believe how goddamn stupid i am. UGH!!! and i talked to the guy, told him i just wanted to apologize face to face, he told me he was stacked up with interviews today, was going away next week, but maybe after that, he'd call me. goddammit. i can't believe this.

well, i guess now i have to hope for that dog-walking job. and at least now, if i do get the doggie one, i can take it instead of, you know, not.

still, though. i didn't know it was possible for someone to be this goddamn stupid. FUCK!

*le sigh* *le sigh* *le sigh*

okay, well onto better and more entertaining of things.

last nite was a pub nite, and a super awesome one at that. me and chica-go-go got all fancied up in our corsets, and i also added my recently aquisitioned bow tie (*cough* which i found on the street *cough* *cough*), and everyone said i was hot. which was fun. and then i had a nice long, drunken on her part *giggle* talk with licia, and it was one of the most beautiful moments of my life. all of my stupid fears as of late have been put to rest, for now, though i know i will be forever jealous, last nite made it so much better. after all, me and her have to remain friends, cuz she has to spoil my kids, as she said.

there was something else hilarious that she said, but now i can't remember it.

anyways, so ya. that was awesome if only for the simple reason that lately i've been freaking out and feeling disconnected from everyone, but it was awesome for many more reasons than that.

*le sigh* alright, i'm gonna go laze around the office for a bit, then i might go shoe shopping

i still can't believe how goddamn stupid i am. fuck.


love, hugs and a lil bit of angry

~jessica


i wrote this at 10:09 AM

kristina sings real pretty-like.

an ant just crawled on the screen. i smooshed him good.

so here i am at dad's. he's on the phone with some friend i don't know. one of those old people, like him (kidding!)

i haven't updated in a while, mostly cuz i've been busy as all hell. i finished my portfolio for fantasy during the lecture, after having stayed up the whole nite. and then yesterday i lazed around the office and passed out a few times. then i went to class, had a crit in photo, and then went back to the office where i found dad. he was doing homework. so i jazzed around the net for a bit till he needed the computer, then i went to nap on the couch till he was done so he could stay over. then he was waking me up and it was 8 am. cuz it took him all nite to do his work. and apparently he asked me around 4.30 if i wanted to just go to bed and i just told him i was cold a few times so he got me a blanket and i said i wanted to stay there... all i can remember is being tucked in. and i thought it happened like 10 minutes after i laid down (around midnite).

then we went out for breakfast. (juice for me) then i came back and went to bed again and slept till 1.30 cuz i had a class at 2.30. then i had another crit (for printmaking) then i came back to winters, found it devoid of all people i know. i checked the ab, found dad, and we came here.

and that's my story. weren't you enthralled by it? i enjoy the word enthralled.

oh, on the weekend, cuz i just realised i never wrote about any of this, i went and saw starsky and hutch. which was amazingly good. and i thought i did something on friday nite, but now i have no idea what it was... hmm... absent-mindedly weirded out.

i'm so sleepy lately. i think it's the rainy weather. raindrops always make me want to curl up in a big blanket and read or watch a movie and catnap.

bla bla bla. and now i'm done.

i can't wait for formal!!!

love, hugs and random feelings

~jessica
i wrote this at 9:25 PM