walked around and walked around and walked around town...

damn theatre... so i went to the abby just now to sit with a vanilla tea so i could get the energy to do some work and to clean my room some more before i went to bed, and to study in the ab as well, only to find it taken over by the west side story cast for a cast party... as in the pub is closed. ah well.

the hallway here is all dark. i don't know why.

there's an old black man with the voice of an amazing storyteller talking to a young indian woman in the lobby. she has the sweet, gentle voice of a mother and i don't know what they're talking about, but their voices are lulling and soothing to my soul.

so what did i do today, you may ask? well, i went to dad's last nite and spent the nite and slept in till noon, then watched naturo till 4 ish then did some more nothing till 5, then ate some SPICY pasta (it was spicy, dammit), then i passed out again for awhile, then it was 9 ish and dad was leaving to go to sari 2.0's party and so i walked back here and cleaned my room and had a shower and now i'm in the hallway.

the walk home was squishy and wet, but jumping puddles and guessing where they were in the dark was fun. and the walk to dad's last nite was incredibly great. every time i'm walking across that field with the abandonned baseball diamond i am totally lost in thoughts. last nite it felt like fall, and i watched the ground the whole time, concentrating on the long, dead, crunchy grass and the images flooding my head. remembering walking through forests and feeling like a new explorer to parts unknown as a 12 year old. those times we wandered around for so long, the four of us, me, my sister, alana and her little brother. we found clearings and trees we didn't know existed. and a deer long dead and ripped apart. and the feeling of wonder and amazement that i felt during those days filled me again last nite. being the leader, on the simple basis that i was the tallest and oldest by a month or two, and i was the one with a walking stick. the smell of fall as it hung around us. the crunch of our feet, sometimes the only noise for what seemed like forever. the choppy noise of the lake when we got to squishier ground. the cold that pinched our cheeks. thoughts of mudpies and the saturday morning cartoons we had watched earlier in the day. thinking of school that had just started. wondering what the coming winter would bring. as it got later in the year, we wandered through forest more dead, with puddles of snow on the ground. the light jumped from between the trees and bounced off of the snow into our eyes. and in the winter, when the leaves were completely off the trees, we found how close to civilization we really were, we could see housetops and barns in the distance. but still we walked. the dog, king i think his name was, came with us some times. maybe his name was buddy.. i don't know. he would run free ahead of us, a great german shepard of a thing bounding around the forest, frightening any wildlife before we had a chance to see it.

ah, those days. walking across that field this was all i could think of. when i stepped onto the sidewalk, i was reminded of nothing, save the countless other times i had walked that way to dad's. knowing that what was waiting was a warm, cuddly place with plenty to divert me from the mounds of homework i had waiting for me.

so yay. for yesterday and today. now i am completely fucked for the work i have to do. ah well, so is life. c'est la vie.

love, hugs and rambly posts

~jess

well i guess that's just the way it is, don't bother none. wouldn't do at all to worry 'bout it.
i wrote this at 12:14 AM

i was gonna post, but the meeting's done now. so i won't.

best story ever!

great story, hansel.
i wrote this at 7:25 PM

QUIZ TIME!!!!

	Love-a-Lot Bear You love to take care of others and people love being around you because you make them feel appreciated. You are very sweet and soft-spoken. You are also a romantic and consider yourself an excellent matchmaker, so you tend to be a bit nosy. But everyone still considers you the sweetest person they know.
Take the Which Care Bear Are You? Quiz!

yay!


i wrote this at 6:49 PM

i just wanted to say that i have the best friends ever. and i do mean ever. not because they all chipped in and bought me my princess dress, but because they did it just to make me happy. to make me feel appreciated. to show me how much they love me. when someone shows you just how much they love you, it makes you feel like you are so very important.

so thank you to my friends who read this. i love you all more than i could say. i'll write more later. i'm real lazy right now.

love, hugs and princess dresses

~jess
i wrote this at 8:59 PM