i'm sorry for screaming last nite, and the nites before.

*sigh* the dude who unlocks the print studio is late. like an hour late. and i actually got up early today, too! so i've just been sitting her on the computer in the cfa. but now i am done internetting and have nothing else to do online. except, of course, leave you random ramblings in your comment-y place. woot.

lalalala

i portered last nite till 1. then i went to bed. but i couldn't sleep. cuz i was hungry. going to bed hungry = no good. so then i ate some mr. noodles. but they weren't really mr. noodles, they were the cheap equality knock off mr. noodles. cuz those ones are only 25 cents a pack. and i watched x-files to tire me out.

but then i still couldn't sleep. and i was still hungry. but i didn't want to eat anything else cuz my grocery supply is very minimal. so i just laid in bed for another hour until i drifted off to sleep.

then i slept in a little. meaning i got up at 8.45 instead of 8.30. then i showered cuz i hadn't done that in a few days. then i got dressed. then i realised i really really need to do the laundry tonite, cuz i dont have any more clean underpants.

i filled out my application for housing. i just need to find the name of my supervisor person thingie at the hospital when i volunteered there. and i have to get the address for the hospital as well. and i also need to find jane's phone number. and then i'm done. oh, no wait, i have to figure out what don ashley's title is. as my supervisor. so i have to ask her that. which i will. today. then i can give it in today. and then i'll get the job. except i TOTALLY won't, cuz that's how things work. and you know, i have no experience or anything. well, i do, and i wrote down a lot and realised i have a lot more than i thought, but it's still not enough, i don't think. and i'm a girl.

alright. i think i'm gonna cut this and paste it in my blog. cuz it seems like a posty.

love you, pops. i'm gonna leave this here, too. and i'm gonna copy it, not cut it.
and yay, someone's opening the print studio!
i wrote this at 10:33 AM

it's hard to say what it is i see in you.

hi all!

i'm at dad's. we were gonna have a bebop nite, but now dad is passed out behind me on the womb. i suppose we'll still watch bebop once he wakes up.

there's been times, i'm so confused, all my roads, they lead to you.

man, i LOVE this song.

the past couple days are nothing to really talk about. well, that's not true. yesterday was a magical jess alicia day, but to try and describe the magic would take the magic away. but i'll tell you what we did. we went shopping for formal dresses. i want to be a princess - a technicolour princess, as alicia said - but i could not find a dress that was awesome and less than 200-400$. *shrugs* whatevah, i'll find something eventually. alicia found hers. it's so hot, yet cute at the same time. and elegant but with a touch of casual as well. i bought some pants for 10 bucks, they look like i skinned oscar the grouch and they're AWESOME!

then we came back and hung around licia's room till 4 am. todd was there for some of that, and then he left. she rearranged her furniture and it looks coolio. it was so fun. it was totally last year. and it was my favourite alicia - pyjamas, messy hair and hyper.

then dad came over and we messed around with licia's computer. meaning we lamely tried to fix it. well, i got all bossy and annoyed myself. but anyways, it's still broken. then i went to bed, and dad slept on my floor and i slept in till 10 (i meant to get up around 8-8.30), then i went did printmaking, went to the office, came here. and here i am.

there's a little black spot on the sun today, it's the same old thing as yesterday.

i wish i was magic. i really truly wish i was. i want to be able to cure sadness and badness and make everyone get along and be happy. i wish i could make cynicism and bleak outlooks on life disappear with a simple hug, a kiss, a smile. i wish i knew the right things to say, and the right time to hug. instead i just walk quietly and listen and feel useless. not all the time, but sometimes. the sight of me puts people in a good mood, but it's not enough. not enough to cure away the dark and dank and bring light and happiness. i mean, i know we need tears to give the smiles meaning, but at the same time, when those i love are going through badness i just wanna will it all away.

anyways..

dad's still sleeping on the couch... i don't wanna wake him, tho. hmm.. what to do, what to do.

love, hugs and a dilly of a pickle!

~jessica
i wrote this at 8:05 PM

we all can't be super-fly. GQ, PH.D, FBI.

so here i am again sitting in the computer lab. again, i'm supposed to be typing out my essay. whatever, i'll do it in a second.

ask your conscious the why and how, do it then, do it when, but do it now.

i love this song. and this cd. props to dad. and to cowboy bebop, i guess.

when the truth seems too far away, buddha loves you and jesus saves.

i don't know where anyone is, really. mind you, it's 1 in the afternoon so most everyone is sleeping somewhere. anyways. i think alicia and stuff are going to ottawa today or something, which i can't go to cuz i have to do this damn essay. and dad is gonna work or something, or go with them i think if he can or something. ah, confusion.

my neck is so much better right now. it just hurts a little in a normal sort of pain way. like when you hurt your neck, and it's not so bad. that's what it is now. but my shoulders are more cracky than ever.

this morning there were cop cars in the little turn around dealie outside winters and when i came outside into the quad, the stairs - both into the college and under it - are all taped off with police tape, as are the doors on the side to get into the college. something happened and i want to know what.

i want some potatoes. but i cant' afford potatoes. so i will have to get my daily meal of a bagel at some point today.

last nite chicago came over and was the special guest porter with me. she made a sign. and we ate cookies and did the crossword and figured out all the words to yakko's nations of the world, though the version i have cuts out in the middle of mahore to crete, mauritania. 'twas fun, tho.


i believe i am done with this posty now.

love, hugs and computer labs.

~jessica

i wrote this at 1:27 PM