when you're on your own, in this life; days and nites are long; when you think you've had too much of this life... hang on.

*sigh* okay. so i left my damn camera at dad's this morning. so i just walked all the way over there to get it. but no one's home and the door's locked. so i walked all the way back. and i'm talking to him now and he said i can go steal my key from him but there's no way in hell i'm traversing that damn frozen tundra again. fuck it. i'll go downtown some other time.

this is insane.

that's it.

love hugs and stuff
~jess
i wrote this at 1:34 PM

so careful, when i'm in your arms.

ahahaha. okay. so here's what actually happened yesterday.

started to do my french. for real. decided i wasn't going to go downtown, because there wasn't enough time cuz all the stores closed at 6. so, started to do my french. went fooding with meg (ie i watched her eat). came back. dad had left me a message saying "have you gone downtown yet?" at 5.44. i answered him at 5.52. but there was no answer cuz he was playing fallout. i proceeded to leave him cabillions of msn msgs and trying to call him, but someone was on the phone. then licia invited me to go to gill's. but i didn't wanna. i didn't wanna go to the movie, either, cuz i wanted to stay in and do work. so i said no to licia. finally i got a hold of dad, he convinced me to go to the movie. so i leave here, get there later than intended, we leave (with erin now as well), realise on the subway that we're late and will miss a bunch of the movie, come back, watch aqua teen, erin leaves, i carve lino, dad plays fallout. we go to bed.

so there. i didn't do diddly-shit yesterday. cuz i'm a big stupid idiot. starting today. i swear. starting today i'm not hanging out anymore if i have work to do.

now i have to go downtown for real.






... but i don't wanna!

love, hugs and whinning,
~jessica
i wrote this at 9:23 AM

i had a million dollars but i'd spend it all

so today is totally gonna be wasted.

the plan was to get up early, go downtown, do everything i needed to do down there, come back, do my entire french presentation get 2 hours of sleep, get up, go to the printing lab, print my prints, come back and die.

but now, it's changed. because dad invited me to see the triplets of belleville which i can't not go to cuz it's gonna rock cuz it looks so awesome. and i really really want to see it.

so the new plan is to do my french now, then go downtown, do all my shit that i need to do, meet them at the movie, see the movie, come back, do more french, finish my lino, get 2 hours of sleep, go to the print lab, print my prints, die.

i added new links. and i added a quote from finn to my quotes.

don't buddy me, buddy.
you do not like green eggs and ham.
well, mister perception, sam-i-am.

everyone go download green eggs and ham by moxy fruvous. it's the awesomest song ever.

oh, and dad said this to me today. totally out of nowhere on msn... i love you, you magical, wonderful girl, you. *giggle*

alright. i'm gonna go get breakfast now.

love, hugs, and teeny wittle posts.

~jess
i wrote this at 1:59 PM

kiss the girl, she is not behind the door.

i have a boo boo on my finger. it hurts.

i stabbed myself with my carving knife, you see. i can't finish this for class like i'm supposed to. cuz i don't wanna stab myself again, and i very probably will if i do this now. ah well.

so i start a revolution from my bed.

the past few days have been very... random? i dunno. for example, this weekend, as you saw from my post in the middle of it, was sorta stressful. i spent saturday studying. like all day. 10-7. then i couldn't do any more work cuz labs were closed and i was on campus and etc, so i went to the office to watch movies with alicia, jaypee, wayland, aidan and todd. it was très fun. and i was up until 6 am. then i came back here to go to bed, i couldn't sleep, so i wrote an email and got back into bed at 7 am. then i got up at 9.30. i went to the photo lab, came back, i think i had a nap, but i can't remember, i did some more work, and then i portered till 1. then i went to bed.

she knows it's too late as she's walkin on by.

then monday i had a test, so i wote it and didn't do too well. ah well. then i skipped my conversation class cuz i hate it and so i could go to the library to do some readings. but their computers were down so i couldn't access the damn call number to get the readings so i came back here. and hung around. and broke alicia's computer with todd... we were trying to install her burner and we think we disconnected somethign we weren't supposed to but we can't figure out what. then it was 5 am. so aidan went to bed. but me and licia and todd stayed up a little more, then todd went to bed. at this point, we were still wide awake and it felt like 11 at nite. so me and licia watched some more sex and the city, then i passed out, then i woke up 5 minutes later. you see, i had an 8.30 class that morning, so i wasn't going to go to bed. so i went up to my room at 20 to 8 and i sat at my computer. and i was at a fork in the road.

turn right, get dressed and go to class.

turn left, collapse into bed and sleep a dreamless sleep.

i, of course, picked left. lol.

so i only slept till 11.30 because i had a 2.30 class and i was planning on going to the library before that to do the readings i hadn't done yet. that didn't happen cuz i got sucked into the black hole of time and decided the readings were pointless and i didn't care. and when i got to my tutorial later, it turns out that they were in face pointless. so yay.

feel no shame, cuz times don't change.

oh ya, on monday nite kt had left me an msn message that said "there's stuff you need to know about tye. call me around 8." but i didn't get the message till 3 am. so i emailed her. and all day tuesday i was desperately trying to push it out of my mind that my little doggie could be dead. finally, she emailed me back. (i was checking my email every chance i got from the computers in the hall outside the office). tye's cyst has gotten worse and so my mom was saying he would have to be put down within the next two weeks. but then it got better, and my mom can't afford to kill my puppy, so sometime within the next few months i have to say bye-bye to mister tye.

some might say that sunshine follows thunder.

so then last nite i was going to go to dad's after my class marathon of death, but then he got called into work so i watched sopranos with everyone instead. and i was totally passing out during them. ah well. then dad showed up and i went to bed and he was sleeping over so he came, too.


so there's my life the past few days. it's been stressful but very fun at the same time. and i keep getting wonderful compliments. and i don't know why. prolly cuz todd's back and that's what he does. lol. but like lately, everyone's been telling me i'm awesome. and it's awesome.

as they took his soul they stole his pride.

i guess that's it, kids.

love, hugs and stabbing.
~jess

(here are some of the compliment-y dealies that make me feel all good)

"you're like everyone's little sister." [jair]

"i love your pigtails. in fact, i just love (the look of?) you. just looking at you puts me in a good mood." [todd]

okay, that's it that i can remember, lol. well, other than everybody telling me i'm awesome. and everything dad says lol. and oh ya, todd was complimenting me on my photography. if he records a winters album, he wants me to to the cover. cuz i have an ability to "capture the essence" or something of the subject. yay me! oh ya, and todd also said he wanted to write a song named "cheese" and that he was going to make a shirt that had a cartoon of me on the back and said 'cheese happens' on the front. lol. okay, now i'm done.


i wrote this at 11:34 AM