so follow the leader down and swallow your pride and drown. when there's no place left to go, maybe that's when you will know.

those are totally not the words. so i'm going to look them up in a minute and change them. to the right ones.

it's 3.30 am and i am tired. i had to do the pub nite late shift. it was awesome cuz blue haired jon was my cohort of the nite. we did the pony song with a bunch of people in the lobby. it was fun. and we drew cartoons of ourselves. yay.

i had a nap today from 5.30 till 9. and now i'm still tired. but it was good. before that i was in the council office and i almost started crying cuz of preacher. cuz i was that tired. even though i slept last nite from 1.30 till 10.30 this morning. that's a lot of sleep but still i was tired. and still weary, i suppose.

The new girl in my life doesn't drink, but she would if I encouraged her. Sometimes I want to get her drunk and see how far I could take it. She is a virgin and trusts me not to take advantage of her.

... i hope that's not james' confession...

so ya, tonite was pub nite and i couldn't go out cuz of portering. it was also bear's birthday which meant everyone (well, some people.. not as many as i was expecting) dressed up as school girls cuz he's obsessed with school girls. i didn't dress up, cuz i didn't go out. even though he told me earlier this week to dress up and he'd come see me at the porter station. james told me that he (bear) was looking forward to me dressing up the most. then he said something like "you're his--" but stopped. he was like nevermind and didn't continue his sentance. i was like uh.. what? (like in my head). i mean, i know bear wants to fuck me, that's sorta obvious and he told alicia so. when they were discussing lists of ppl they wanna fuck. but that was still sorta odd....

i made him a card, though. i hope he liked it. he was drunk when i gave it to him.

i guess i'm gonna go to sleep now cuz i'm tired and i finished reading the new grouphugs.

nite all

love, hugs and early morning bedtimes.

~jessica
i wrote this at 3:41 AM