dream

i had a strange dream this morning -- er... afternoon.

i was in french class. with mme. morin, or mme. what's-her-face from grade 11 french and grade 9 geography.. oh ya, mitchell.. and anyway, all the french immersions were there, like tim, mary-catherine, ashley, michael, jeff, sarah, shannon, i think even hilary was there... chandra, bridget, ffeg... um, others too. mostly everyone. and it was university french. it was in some weird art room, similar to my drawing studio, i think. at least, that is where it was in the cfa.. don't ask me why it was in the cfa...and the "prof" was telling us about this assignment we were doing about things (there were a few, one was on religion, one was about pianos, and then there was another.. i think it was autobiographical in nature) and i was wondering why we still had to do these assignments when the last day of classes was over, and i wasn't sure who my partner was for the religion thing (i think i was doing christianity) i was asking people, at first i thought it was ashley, then i realised it was tim, and so i kept protesting actually doing this assignment because she wastn' allowed to actually assign us anything. and in my dream, i kept flashing back to the nite before, when i had been at home, using the keyboard to figure out the piano one, and my mom was yelling at me cuz i was being too loud or something.

then we were all suddenly out side or something, but it was like this scene from outside was overtop of the scene of the cfa, in the bottom floor, the part that overlooks the sculpture studio, and anyway, we were all there, and we were just talking about things, and still i couldnt' understand why we were doing these assignments, and i kept waking up and being like "oh, okay, it's just a dream" but then i'd freak out and think that it wasn't a dream, and that i did have these assignments due, but i kept thinking, that's okay, it's sunday, i have all day... so we were outside, it was similar to where we all went camping - the french immersion camping trip, not the other one - and there were these two dogs, and i was playing with them and just chatting with everyone. and a bunch of people were over in this other area, so i was going over there, still holding onto one of the dogs, cuz mme. mitchell told me to, and we went over, and people - jeff d, shannon, sarah, ashley, holly, tim, michael and some others - were sitting around this picnic table, but it had chicken wire wrapped around them, but not touching them, just around them in a box shape.

and then suddenly, we were all sitting around in the cfa, looking into the sculpture studio, but it wasn't the sculpture studio, it was the fishbowl. and i think alicia was in there dancing. (the fishbowl is a dance studio with big windows that people can watch through). and i was sitting on this bench, and then andy came over to say hi to me, but no one else knew who he was, obviously, and then he left, and then i was in this thing, and clare was beside me, and i think jen and sarah and ja-9 were watching us, or in the thing too, and it was a truck at first. and it (cuz now outside was inside, too... as in the windows were still there, but we were outside) moved up to the windows, so we could see inside the fishbowl. and there were theatre people in there.

then, it became this scary-swinging thing, that swung into the fishbowl (the windows were gone) and was swinging around like crazy, and i almost fell out, and clare almost fell out a whole bunch of times, cuz i was in a corner, so i was kinda sheltered from the big hole at the front. and we swung around, and i saw in one corner, jeff (theatre), and this girl i keep seeing around campus, and i think greg, and some other people, and then in another corner it was diane and meaghan (i think) and more theatre people. and then i think the thing went back out of the fishbowl and stopped. and that was the dream.

it was weird. now i'm going to go make my bed and stuff... i woke up at 2 pm... oh ya. rocky horror was last nite. and it was good that it was early, cuz like i said we didn't have to take a cab home, but it also made it full of high schoolers, and virgins who dont' know when to not spray their goddamned water guns. and that annoying luca kid was there... he's this gay 13 year old who's really annoying... anyway. so it was good. but we were so tired by the end... yep.

love you all, hugs for eveybody

cheers

~jessica
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i wrote this at 3:23 PM

hello

so here i am. in my room. alone... in the sunshine. yay for sun.

i dont' have much to talk about.

this morning me and andy stole some of diane's noodles for breakfast. they were yum. he said he'll feed me dinner. so hooray for that. (i have almost no money left on my card... like around 5$, so i take free food where i can get it...)

yesterday/last nite i hung around in andy's room for awhile. it was fun. he made me dinner then, too.

tonite is rocky horror. hooray for that. and it's an earlier-than-usual show, which means we can take the subway back, and not pay billions of dollars for a cab. yay.

tuesday we might be going to the island. if it's open. and we might have our 1920's style picnic that has been in planning for a few months now. yay.

can you tell i'm bored?

i'd rather be bored like i am than have exams to study for, though.

today i went to the general store and the bookstore and the drugstore so as to find some sidewalk chalk and a skipping rope. but i couldn't find either. i might buy some cable cords to use as a skipping rope. they look like they'd work fine.

i went to value village the other day and i bought a pretty skirt. it's long-ish and brown with white flowers. i love it.... i wear it with my blue jeans under. i love blue/brown together. so nice. i'm going back to value village sometime this week with alicia and diane. and i'll be buying more skirts, sundresses and some pants to cut into shorts. and boys t-shirts, too, i think. cuz they are really really cheap. and fit quite well.

that's it, i suppose.

love you all, hugs for everybody.

oh, the tension isn't as present in the group now. things are working themselves out. which i am very very happy for.

cheers

~jessica
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i wrote this at 5:39 PM

things to live by

jen's dealie that i posted on the side, and this, sent from andy in an email this morning.

* Remember that your presence is a present to the world.
* Remember that you are a unique and unrepeatable creation.
* Remember that your life can be what you want it to be.
* Remember to take the days just one at a time.
* Remember to count your blessings, not your troubles.
* Remember that you'll make it through whatever comes along.
* Remember that most of the answers you need are within you.
* Remember those dreams waiting to be realized.
* Remember that decisions are too important to leave to chance.
* Remember to always reach for the best that is within you.
* Remember that nothing wastes more energy than worry.
* Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.
* Remember that the longer you carry a grudge, the heavier it gets.
* Remember not to take things too seriously.
* Remember to laugh.
* Remember that a little love goes a long way.
* Remember that a lot goes forever.
* Remember that happiness is more often found in giving than getting.
* Remember that life's treasures are people, not things.

Author Unknown


i wrote this at 2:24 PM

ohmygodimdonemyfirstyearofuniversity

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!!!

so facs is done. hooray for that...

i have a few things to say, based on the guestbook entries....

~the dull blog was found in the most recently published blog list on the main blogger page

~i do cry when i need/want to... except the other nite when i was watching stepmom... that was annoying. i watched that movie cuz i wanted to cry, but alas. and the other other nite, when andy said 'don't cry, jessica' it wasn't like a "don't cry, you stupid bitch. raaaaaaaaaar" (demanding or anything) it was like "dont' cry, my darling, everythign will be alirght. there is no reason to cry" cuz really there wasn't. so shut-up-a-yo-face about crying. (i'm a-kidding) i can and do cry when i need to... also, if i cried in front of him at that moment, it would have turned that conversation the wrong way, and made it about me or something... my point's in my head, i just can't make it... anyway, i needed to concentrate on him, not my own crying... just nevermind....

I'M DONE FACS. LALALALALA. I'M SO HAPPY I COULD SCREAM. and i did, last nite a couple times, while skipping down the halls away from the lecture hall in which we wrote our exam.

last nite was fun, when it wasn't boring. the ab was packed with us all, all of us first years done our facs. it was great. everyone was drunk/high/hyper as shit. everyone thought i was drunk or something, cuz i was that hyper... and i kept making very lewd jokes. i got many-a laugh... yay.

i'm going to value village once alicia and diane get back from down-towning. yay cheap clothes.

the group is still filled with the ever-pressing tension. except now i have heard greg's side of things, so i know everyones. and my idea that i had, of having a group intervention, where i get everyone together and demand they all talk isn't going to happen... not cuz of the reason that i was doubting doing it - everyone would hate me - cuz i decided that didn't matter as much as these people needing to talk, it's cuz greg told me that it wouldn't work. and i agree. he siad that he wouldnt want to talk in front of everyone, and i think that is the same for everybody. so now i don't know what to do. i don't know how to fix this, and how to help these people. but the tension in that second floor room is so thick. *sigh* they better fix it soon or i'm going to flip my lid. what lid? i dont' know... but there will be some serious lid-flipping going on, that's for sure....

man, i'm hyper.

love you all, hugs for everybody.

cheers/terrah

~jessica

i wrote this at 2:16 PM