changes

i changed the exploding dog pics. the second one, the one further down, used to be called "he knows" and had a guy standing in a desert coloured area, with his arms held wide. i thought it was symbolic of bush and his retarted search of death. now i've change it, i think it speaks for itself.

and i changed the song to time of your life. i was thinking i wanted to change it, but i dint' know to what. this song crossed my mind, cuz the end is quickly approaching, and it's the first song i ever posted. then, i was listeing to semi-charmed life, reading the lyrics and deciding it wasn't me at all, and i thought k, the next song will be the one i post... if it's good. and it was time of your life.

isn't it strange how what i thought was the end before turned out to be the beginning of now? i hope that what is coming will not be the end... by what is coming, i mean the end of the year. i'm frightened that i will lose the friends i've known for so little a time yet cherish so dearly. *sigh* i'm gonna stop thinking of this now, it's depressing me.
i wrote this at 8:47 PM

friday

and another good one. i love them. so much. to-day was spent in this-a-way. (which rhymes with disaray..however it's spelled.. lol)

~woke up at 11ish. no, it was more like 10ish.. ha, tennis.

~lazed around till diane came and said she was going to exchange moneys.

~got dressed did notthing with my hair as it was still the same as yesterday, though a little flat and fuzzy from sleeping: out with two braids at the sides that tie at the back. i look like a hippie and i love it. also, i had little curlies coming out at the front, in front of the braids roots... and they were gelled yesterday so they looked pretty.

~went with diane to get our formal tickets. i now owe her 40$. which i will have when my cheque comes through. yay. then we went for breakfast at c1c.

~came back to andy's and greg's. i watched this online lecture for facs that was incredibly dull.

~hung around my room awhile, as andy was high and not entertaining. lol

~went to tutorial. it was great. we were doing this really confusing thing that i won't try to explain cuz it will just confuse. but it involved matching authour's and titles of articles to the quotes of said articles. there were letters involved. such as "big B little c" and so on. so we're sitting there as a class tryign to figure this out, everyone is confused to shit, and it was freaking hilarious. so i start laughing. and i don't stop. for like 10 minutes. and i was sobbing. i haven't laughed this hard in sooo long.. it was great. i was crying and everything. and this guy thought i was laughing about something related to "big D little c" which i assume was something sexual, but i dind't get it, which made it funnier. then i kinda calmed down and answered one of the questions. "it's big A" and anne said "that's right! now read the quote with as much passion as you feel" and i just started laughing again and said i couldn't. man, it was fun.

~came back here and hung around.

~made spaghetti for me and jesse and meaghan and andy. but andy was sleeping so jaypee filled in for him, lol. it was yummy

~now i'm here.

so, this dress... here we go. it's black. it's got a white stripe around the top, over the tops of my boobs. there are little white spaghetti straps. it's tight until the waist/butt and then it flows all big. it's made of that shiny prom dress material. the bottom is nice and poofy. i look incredibly hot in it, as i said. i love it. i just need shoes. and a black choker. diane's gonna do my hair, as i think i said. man, i'm excited.

my hands hurt.

there has been so much fog lately. way too many clouds falling. of course, this is why the rain, or because of the rain, rather. i love it. i can't see the rest of campus, which is odd.

that's about it, i suppose

love you all, hugs for everybody

cheers

~jessica


i wrote this at 8:24 PM

addendum

oh, and there's a war going on. i choose to not voice opinions on my blog, as i'm sure the rest of the world is giving out enough. i'm anti-war. that's all that really matters. i found this blog which is interesting, i think. i didn't really have time to read it.
i wrote this at 2:09 AM

here i am again

blarg. that is about all i have to say... but i'll rant a little..

i'm bored. it's 2 am. on the dot, according to the comp. tonite was an aimless one, i hung around with jesse and alicia, then i hung around some more with jesse. then with jesse and diane. then he went with meg and greg and jaypee to the ab. and i watched almost famous with diane. what a good movie. now i'm considering whether or not i should go to bed. i'm thinking bed, as i have absolutely nothing else to do.

erm... ah yes. all my billions upon billions of things that were due are now out of my hands. hoorah. i just have my italian oral on mon and then some italian tests and i'm in for the clear, if you want to say that, which i don't.

still dont' know what i'm doing in the summer. still dreading the end of the year and the goodbyes.

i'm going to winters formal. and i look way hot in my (diane's) dress. yay.

i guess that's it.

bya.

love you all, hugs for everybody.

cheers

~jessica
i wrote this at 2:05 AM

!!!!!!IT'S SO FREAKING BEAUTIFUL OUTSIDE!!!!!!
i wrote this at 1:23 PM

dag, yo...it's been awile.

so.... i've been up to not so much, i guess... here's a post i was thinking about doing yesterday.

fridays

i love fridays. to-day i was walking back from york lanes/the ross, and i realised just how much i love them. usually i take this walk back to my dear old res after finishing my FACS tutorial. so, i always find myself walking across the vanier parking lot, my hair bouncing, and, from what i can recollect, it always seems to be sunny.
so to-day i was walking back and i fell in love. with who? myself. now, rarely do i get these spurts of self-pride, but there it was. actually, i don't think i've ever felt this good about myself before. i have cool pants. i am somewhere with extremely gorgeous weather. i am wearing the inside of my coat and i am not cold. i just handed in my essay. i have pigtails. i am eating a digestive cookie and holding it in my red mittens. i just gave blood. i am great. i am wonderful. everyone loves me.
hahaha.. well, maybe the last few weren't entirely true, but there it is. it was truely euphoric.

back to the present

yes, that was me yesterday. as it says, i handed in my essay. i didn't go to sleep at all on thursday nite, cuz i was up writing it. i was going to write finishing it, but then i remembered that i hadn't started it until then. so i stayed up all nite in andy's room typing, after having spent a great portion of the day, and the week, in the library. and when i say a great portion, i mean a hugely great portion. like 6 and a half hours straight the day before. and that's not counting the 2 and a half hours that i was there for earlier that same day. i have a newfound love for the library. it's so grand. so i was up all nite in andy's, with him, greg and jaypee sleeping like goddamned babies next to me. it was disheartening. at around 6.30 i fell asleep leaning my face on my hand when i was rubbing my eyes. i woke up a half an hour later, in a confused state. and i finished the essay at about 12.30. in the afternoon. 3 hours before it was due. what was my thesis? i don't rightly know... but it was on rocky horror... the original musical, the movie, and the broadway revival. and something about postmodernism. wahoo. but i think if i get a not-so-good mark on it (i honestly don't know how i did, i either did really well, or really not-so-well.... ) i'm going to re-write it. just for the hell of it. cuz i like doing it. i just shouldn't have procrastinated so goddamned much. like right now, for example, i'm procrastinating. i have 5 750-word essays due on tuesday and i haven't started them yet... i'm planning on spending aaaaaaaaaaaaall day in the library to-morrow.

so last nite i passed out around 10. and i almost fell asleep a couple times before that, around 5 and stuff. but i woke up at some point, and it was the weirdest thing. alicia and diane were standing beside my bed looking at me. and the christmas lights and alicia's light were on, illuminating her mosquito netting canopy dealie. and we have this new couch thing (really it's just erin's extra mattress propped up against the heater) so it looked like there was fabric everywhere. i was so confused. then i fell back asleep. and apparently the phone rang really early in the morning and i looked at alicia, but i think i must have been asleep.
i spent the day cleanign diane's room, she's paying me 15$, plus another 1$, just cuz there was a loonie that i found. right now everyone is in the common room, pretending to be at a rave for this student film. the fact that i hate dancing and cameras made me stay here. here as in diane's. yay. i still have to do andy's laundry for money. yay for friends and their chores that they are too lazy to do...

that is all

love you all, hugs for everybody.

cheers

~jessica

i wrote this at 12:33 PM