no squeelin' remember that it's all in your head.

lalalala. not bored anymore cuz licia is the greatest.. yay!
i wrote this at 10:35 PM

don't waste your time on me, you're already the voice inside my head.

word, my homies.

today i bought that corset. cuz i was there and i had 20 dollaz in my account and i decided what the hell. then i realised (after i bought it and it was too late) that now i don't have any money for ttc when kt's up.. hopefully i get a pay cheque before that. lol.

so. i'm writing this here simply because i need to tell someone, not because i need sympathy or whatever. tye's being put down tomorrow (saturday). this usually would make me very upset. but i think because i was expecting it, because i've been in such a good cheery mood lately, because it really is for the best, and because i was in the computer lab full of people when i found out.. i just sort of took it as one does bad news. after the initial shock it sorta got to me. but i haven't actually been upset about it. i almost cried this morning, when dad left, but that's about it. it's been on my mind constantly. i can't stop thinking about it. but i haven't told anyone cuz i didn't want to ruin pub nite, or today that was such a fun jessica alicia day. so i am telling it now, simply because i need to tell someone and you are all my someones.

but i will miss my little mister tye. i'll miss his waggy tail, floppy ears, soulful, catarachy eyes that seemed to stare into forever. i'll miss pulling on his ears and then he nibbles on my hand. i'll miss playing tag in the summer and snowfights in the winter. i'll miss him hugging on command, as well as "being cute." i'll miss him scratching on my door (which i could have sworn i heard this morning.. it freaked me out... and almost had me crying.) i'll miss him following me around wherever i go and whining when he couldn't. i'll miss sharing my bed, and waking up with pins and needles in my feet because he was on top of them all nite. i'll miss waking up to a lick on the nose and paws on my chest.

*sigh*

it is for the best, tho. what kt has told me, it is for the best. apparently he doesn't trust anyone because his eyes are so far gone he can barely see. he attacked kt once cuz he didn't know who she was. and he pees all over the floor, more than usual. and he whines and barks all the time, even if someone's away for only a second. but still, i'll miss my ragamuffin little puppy-dog. all dogs go to heaven, right? hopefully, he'll have fun there.

i'm concerned about how the cat will take it. *grin*

love, hugs and a fond farewell, mister.

~jess
i wrote this at 8:50 PM

whoa-oh-oh-whoa sweet child of mi-ee-ine.

hello everybodee!

i am sorta hyper. in a non-hyper way. i'm sitting in the hall, at the hall computers. i'm kinda hungry. but mostly not. everyone is downstairs smoking up in the music module. and i left before it got all hot-boxed. they're going to falafel hut after their done, and i hope that they come get me first, but really i don't care all that much.

tonite was pub nite and it was an okay one. licia got shitfaced smasheded. falling all over the place and repeating herself a lot. she was happy, so it was good.

kt powell is coming up next friday! 'twill be fun, i suspect. she's gonna be here for a week, so she'll be here for st. patties day and pub nite. so she'll get drunk. and she'll be getting high as well, cuz my friends will smoke her up. it'll be weird but whatever. she'll have fun, and i'll have fun, and everyone will have fun. everyone's gonna be hitting on her, i think. cuz she's 16 and hot and all... i have to keep her away from my dirty dirty friends. *giggle*

i think i'm gonna go run down to the module to see if they're still there.

byeeee!

love, hugs and fun

~jess
i wrote this at 3:04 AM

and all that jazz.

gah. i'm all upset and i don't know why. well, i do. it's hormones and the fact that my best friend's life is falling apart and there's nothign i can do but sit there and listen. i feel useless. and i don't know what to do. i want a hug. this is really stupid cuz dad and licia are right in the other room (in the lounge, i be in the office) and i know they're gonna read this later (uh... hi guys...) but right now, i can't just go be all upset. cuz they're high. and then i'd ruin their high.

ah well.

they're coming now. i don't want them to read this as i type. fear. fear!

lol

byee

~jess

just ignore this post'
i wrote this at 1:16 AM