memories are just where leave them.

so that didn't happen. kt and sarah got home the next second and they are who we were really gonna spy on.

msn isn't working and i got all paranoid that it's that scary new wormy virus thinger. but i just checked and since i have a windows me system, i will not be affected by the worm.

i had a dream last nite. i think i will tell of it. in my dream place, that is. not here.

she cries that life is like some movie - black and white - dead actors faking lines, over and over and over again, she cries.

gotta love fuel.

i went to town today and bought stuffs. tomorrow i start packing for reals.

i didn't buy a kettle. cuz i was under a time constraint and i just talked to my mom on the phone about a money thing so it made me all paranoid that it was too much. i realised while exiting the mall that it was indeed a very good price for exactly what i was looking for. i was doubtful as i walked away from the kettle. i should have just bought it. now i'll have to get it some other time. maybe friday, but will my mom let me have her bank card again? i don't know.

i like how sarah said she liked my story. i'd write another, and i was sorta planning on it, but not today. nothing interesting enough has happened to me. i think it odd that your first thought, sarah, was that the turtle would have an ill-fate. i think if he ever died (note that the fact that everything eventually dies is quite irrelevant to my thinking) i would say it first off. actually, maybe i woudlnt'. i really dont' know.

what i do know is what to make you for your birthday now. hooray for that.

i love gospel music. i also love sister act music, which is what i am now listening to. it is the finale from sister act 2.. the one with the kids. and that girl, what's her name, from the fugees. i think she was in it. she was the girl who wasn't allowed to sing but did anyway and made her mom cry.

and from god to cabaret, now it's mein herr.

now my computer's all "cannot find server" and when i try to sign into msn it says the scary thing it used to say when we had the virus. so i think i'm going to reinstall norton.

love, hugs and virus attack!

~jessica















(i didn't watch xfiles today. but i have kept thinking of the last one i saw, the end, and i'm glad to be wondering what happens next. i dont' remember all too clearly, which means that when i watch the next few episodes i will be one part surprised, two parts reminded.)
i wrote this at 10:21 PM

gift-wrapped, guilt-tripped kisses left you naked in your bed.

navy blue skirt made from old track pants, brown t-shirt with sleeves up-rolled sleeves bought at value village, braids and i had a red bandana but it fell off.

i gotta go now, my mom wants to go spy on her ex through his bushes and needs some backup.
i wrote this at 9:50 PM

i want a perfect soul

guy shorts, blue t-shirt, braids... i had a hat but it disappeared again...

i'm reading xfiles fanfic. why are all post-the end stories crap?

the sun is hot, the sun is not a place where we could live. but here on earth there'd be no life without the light it gives.

oh, man i can't wait for frosh week. as that song reminds me of...

okay. i have a story.

and then i gave him chicken. (that's the title)

one day, a young girl on the edge of adulthood stood at the edge of the kitchen of her mother's home. her mother was in the kitchen, making food for her most beloved dog. the other dog stood in the shadows outside the kitchen, watching with a hungy, envious stare. a cat lay on the bed of the dog being fed, in the kitchen behind the mother. the girl stood watching.

she turned, then, to the aquarium beside her. a large turtle was floating tranquilly in the water, bobbing up and down, keeping a watchful eye on the girl he had known his whole life. this girl watched him for a moment. then she put her fingers on the glass and he followed them, swimming, as she passed them across the surface. she glanced once again at her mother feeding the dog chicken and decided that that would make a nice treat for the aging reptilian. she walked towards her mother.

"mom, can turtles eat chicken?" she asked as she ripped some meat off the bone in the plastic container.

"i don't know," said the mother, washing her hands in the sink as the dog merrily swallowed his chicken. "why?"

"well, there's no tuna open, and i want to give something to him," said the girl, gesturing to the aquarium she had left. she brought the piece over to the turtle. it wasn't a large piece, big enough for two portions for the turtle.

she lifted the covering of the tank off and placed it on the floor. the turtle scrambled up onto his sunning slate and sniffed the meat between her fingers. he seemed disinterested and looked away, but the girl pressed it into his field of smell once again. this time, the turtle grabbed it from her fingers with his beak and dove back into the water. he swam wildly in a corner for a minute, simply holding the flesh in his jaws until a piece broke off and floated away. the girl watched with amusement and wonder as the turtle quickly swallowed what was left in his mouth and dashed after what had escaped. the girl still had another piece waiting for him between her fingers, waiting near his sunning slate. somehow, or perhaps simply now conditioned to know where the food comes from, the turtle knew this. he jumped quickly up onto his slate. the girl placed a gentle yet firm hand on his back to hold him steady. but the turtle would have none of it. he scrambled after the hand she was quickly pulling back. he was stronger than she thought or expected and slipped out of under the hand holding him steady. he lunged out of his tank, scaring the girl so that she dropped the chicken on the floor and he chomped down on what he was expecting to be a yummy piece of chicken.

perhaps realising it was human fingers, or maybe the girl yanked her finger from his beak, the turtle's jaws released. she quickly grabbed the turtle again, stronger this time, and picked up the meat before the dogs fought over it. she then fed him quickly and placed the cover back on the aquarium before the wild beast inside escaped again.

then she tended to her bleading fingers while her mother laughed hysterically at her from the kitchen.

the end.

moral of the story: turtle's may seem gentille and tranquil but do not fuck with them when they've had a taste of meat.


true story, you know...

i hate damn "whoops! we can't find your page!" fucking yahoo acting like the damn dunderheads they are.

ha, i said dunderheads.

i also hate tripod errors, that page does not exist, cannot find server and all that other shit that exists because people never check their links. which i have not done in a while....

there is a chipmunk at the centre of the earth and in his big oven he bakes his own desserts. he warms the ocean and from that life springs forth, little organisms building trash around the clock.

what a bloody damn good song.

hmm... do i have anything else to speak of?

i sorta started andy's birthday present the other day. meaning i cut out parts... i still don't know what the crap to make for ross-head. dammit. damn you sarah!

i've had a lot of dreams lately. i think i'll go post some now...

love, hugs and rainy days

~jessica

gibson (to mulder): i know you're thinking about one of the girls you brought with you. and one of them's thinking about you.

scully: mulder, whatever you may believe... this time they may have won.

and end that with a beautiful shot of scully clinging to mulder, both in shock, in the ashes of their office, red and blue lights illuminating the scene in turn. *sigh* (5x20, the end)
i wrote this at 9:30 PM

damn this fucking thing!

i SO just posted!!! fuck!

alright. here's what i said

if i can get a ride into town on friday, can anyone give me a ride back sometime? this is of course for the jersey show. oh, and if i can't get a ride into town, can i get a ride there? lol... i don't have any gas money, unfortunately.. damn school costs.. anyways, no worries if no one can, i hold no grudges. matt said to call him if i coudlnt get a ride, but i won't be doing that. i'm too shy and not wanting to impose. though i am on y'all all the time... *sweetly apologetic sheepish smile* so ya, if no one can, i understand completely. but the request is still there. :)

love, hugs and forever imposing

~jessica


i wrote this at 12:07 AM